Suppressed Feelings

I have this inane ability to suppress my feelings. Deep down inside, I know it is not good for anyone. I can be in an argument with someone and once I have slept it off, I have mostly moved on to the next thing. It drives my wife nuts. I can leave a lot unsettled. I like to tell people that my care free attitude has a lot to do with the fact that I am from Hawaii and easy going. To be honest, that is part of it but not the whole story. 

My parents, were amazing when I was growing up. They made sure I did well in school and that I came from a loving home. It wasn't until I got older that things began to go a little sideways. Without going into to much detail, I moved away and never really looked back. As the kid, you would think as you got older for your parents to continue to invest in you but that wasn't the case for me. It is not really a sob story, it is just what it is. To be 100 percent clear, I didn't really try either. I had goals and those goals meant that I could not look behind but to only move forward. I put a lot of my feelings in a box and never visited them.Eventually, days turned into weeks, weeks turned to months and months turned to years.  

How do you begin again? How do you start over? How do you fill the gap of 17 years? You do it by taking the first step. That is exactly what my mother did this week. She took the first step and came to visit my wife and kids. 

Once I knew for sure they were coming, I told my kids. Noah, my oldest, was so excited and nervous. He had another grandmother that he never knew about. He had another aunt who he never knew about.

My in-laws, who are nothing short of amazing, have filled the gap for my side of the family for a long time. They are loving, caring, amazing, and overall spectacular people. They love me for who I am and for all my faults. I consider them to be mom and dad because that is exactly how they treat me. 

As happy as I am about having my in laws in my life, I am now happy that my kids know that they have another grandmother. The easiest way for me to describe how I am feeling is just by stating that my heart is full and I feel a little more complete today than I was last week. 2018 is shaping up to be a hell of a year. 


2 out of 3 looking in the same direction is a win

tim riddick